Sophie (ehippo) wrote,
Sophie
ehippo

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Mirrors

I went underground for a while. I was happy there. I don't mean that I went away. I mean I was at the theater. Because I know that's where I belong. That's the place where I'm happy. I can let go. I can fly.

I've changed an enormous amount. For a while there I became very figurative. My life was about slow dancing, about "you" (whoever it was on that day). It was a precarious state. We were all losing eachother. I'm glad it's over.
But then, you see, I lost sight of things. I became analytical, and overly so. I forgot how to breathe. All was in terms of time. In terms of chem. There was no room for emotion or being or trying to remember. Things went one way and that's what I wrote down. I'm glad that's over and I'm glad it didn't last long.
The only way I escaped my one-way life was going to the show. Ever since sixth grade, the show has been my saviour. I go there and lose myself. I go there and let loose, because the people that I love are there and that's the way I know it always has to be. The show is a part of my brain I'll never lose.
The Women is over, but it'll always be going. We'll never forget eachother. We're all too close. I doubt I'll have another experience like that one, where after being separated for only one week we returned to eachother with tears.
Then I found you. And you held me near. Your words were like raindrops. Washing me clean. Making me clear.
This new show has been an eye opener for me. I know I lost track of where I was going, and this has steered me back. I remember the joy and the excitement. I didn't lose it, so much as forget why. I now know why I do what I do. I couldn't tell you the answer, but now it's in me. Because there aren't any adults. And it's different. And sometimes it's frustrating. But I walk in the door and watch the little ones and I think back: I was there once. I've grown and I've changed. But I was there, and it was a lovely place to be. But where I am now is wonderful. And where I am now is where I want to be. Do you hear that? Where I am now is where I want to be.
These days I think more in lyrics. These days I can remember. These days I can't forget. These days I miss my women. These days I realize, and I realize. And then I realize more. These days I seem to think a lot about the things that I forgot to do for you, and all the times I had the chance to. These days I sit on cornerstones and count the time in quarter tones to ten, my friend. But it's all right. Because crying takes the sad out of you, doesn't it?
And so, race you to the top of the morning. Come sit on my shoulders and ride. Run and hide, I'll come and find you. Climb hills to remind you. I love you. I love you, my boy at my side.
Try to remember. Try to remember. Follow. Follow. Follow.
When I lay me down to sleep.

Come on in from the outside.
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